CCL Semifinal action! Seattle who dominated their second leg matchup against the Tigres B squad (who were up for it before the red) now get to face Oribe Peralta, Hercules Gomez and the rest of the mighty Santos Laguna. I'm expecting a blood bath for the home squad Sounders.
If you are reading this expecting some sort of "unbiased" approach you are in the wrong place. I fucking detest the Sounders and all that they stand for. They are a fantastically obnoxious franchise with the fans they deserve (outside of the ones who do tifo, mad props to those hard working and talented folks). I genuinely like Santos. They have been a high quality side for years. Hercules Gomez is the king of the Yanks in Mexico. They properly know how to wear green (nice kits tonight). High quality father son Rey Misterio mask combo shown on the FSC broadcast before the game. If you think I'm rooting against fans who rock the mask of one of the greatest luchadores ever, think again.
Here we go!
Marcus Hahnemann is in goal tonight for Seattle due to Gspurning's suspension for YELLOW CARD ACCUMULATION (I don't know that I've heard of a goal keeper accomplishing this). This is his debut in CCL play. Good luck Marcus. I hope you fuck it all up.
Sixth minute: Djimi Traore turtles up on the turf holding his face. I almost start laughing.
Obligatory Sigi shot. Is that a Roughneck scarf he is wearing? Those design stealing fucks? Fashion fail by someone who should know better.
Tenth: HAHAHA Martinez dribbles all over the place going back and forth on his man who keeps pretty good position and then he blasts a shot way the fuck over the bar. SO FAR OVER THE BAR.
Twelfth: Felipe Balloy shuts down a long ball. He is referred to as the Panamanian. How about we just say he is the Panamaniac instead? No?
This game has been a midfield feeling out process so far. Both teams have held possession for a spell. Seattle's has been a bit better since they are used to playing on the worst surface in the world. The Santos defense has been well positioned and disciplined so far.
Fifteenth: Gomez wins a free kick. This was not a dive but he accentuates the illegal play that has been perpetrated upon him. Patrick Nyarko take note.
The Santos coach looks like a well groomed, non blond Jimmy Conrad.
Eighteenth: YELLOW CARD for Rodriguez who fouled Martinez. First foul and by CCL standards that wasn't much. Looks like we are going to have a shit ton of cards tonight. EJECTIONS FORTHCOMING!
Nineteenth: Brad Evans gets the ball in the box and snatches at the ball and pulls his shot wide. He had some space. I would expect him to be better there.
Seattle has dominated the last 10 minutes in terms of possession. Unfortunately they are looking good and likely to score (ugh). Santos needs to ping the ball around for a few and get comfortable again. Linking up appears to be a huge issue for the away side right now. Defensively they are compact and not allowing lots of chances.
Twenty-Third: Gomez gets a long ball in the box and he immediately tries to chip the ball over the keeper. Weird decision from him as he had time. I expect so much more out of Herc in that position.
Twenty-Fifth: Gomez on the counter attack as Quintero finds him with an excellent through ball. Scott makes a sliding challenge as Gomez pushes his shot wide. Excellent counter attack.
Twenty-Eighth: Quintero gets free in the box, dribbles around and cuts the ball back to the top of the box for someone who I can't quite make out, whomever blasts a shot right at big Marcus (I'm not typing his last name all night so Marcus it is).
Thirtieth: Balloy breaks up a possible 2-1 situation. PANAMANIAC RUNS WILD!
Santos have found their groove. Exploiting the left flank of Seattle has proven to be fruitful. It looks like they are overloading that side of the field and attempting to spring Gomez and Quintero. It is beginning to open up the rest of the field as Seattle adjusts.
Thirty-fourth: Peralta is called offsides but it is only by a little bit as Traore is a half step behind the other defenders. Hmm I wonder if Traore is going to be keeping a goal scorer onsides tonight?
Thirty-Seventh: Quintero takes a SPECULATIVE blast from 1 million miles away that predictably goes way above the bar. That was troubling no one Darwin.
Fortieth: Sammy Ochoa receives a nice ball in the box but kind of trips over his feat attempting to control. Yedlin picks up the trash and earns the corner. Ensuing corner sees Ochoa head the ball over the bar.
Forty-Second: Quintero hustles and breaks free with the ball. He cuts across and passes the ball to Peralta who puts his long distance shot wide and high.
Forty-Third: Quintero AGAIN as this time he gets the ball and manages to burst into the box and get off a rather wild shot that hits the camera above the goal. Quintero is DOMINATING things right now. The Columbian is working it.
Forty-Fifth: A quick throw in catches Santos off guard but Martinez is not able to get to the ball before the ball goes over the line. Unfortunate for the Sounders.
Forty-Sixth: We have 2 minutes of stoppage. Free kick given to Seattle. Great free kick from Martinez. His ball finds Scott who gets a header and puts it back into the box where it is scuttled about. Santos manage to clear. Great chance for Seattle.
Forty-Eighth: Corner for Santos. Quintero puts in a rather poor corner and the half time whistle blows.
Halftime: Interesting half as both teams had opportunities to score. Santos had the better of the chances but Seattle held better possession and created their own chances. Fun first half.
Second half underway! No changes made at half.
Forty-Seventh: Gomez again accentuating being pushed down. He WAS pushed. Instead of trying to fight through it he earns a free kick. This is part of what makes him great. The ensuing free kick is not so good.
Forty-Ninth: Ball falls to Peralta after a turnover. He quickly gets it to Quintero who gets the ball caught between his feet. His first touch ends up finding Marcus who gobbles it up. Interesting chance.
Fiftieth: The arthritic bones of Shalrie Joseph makes a terrible pass that ends up at the feet of Sanchez. Do they make puke green colored cardigans? Because Joseph should be wearing an old man sweater right about now to take the chill out of his bones.
Fifty-First: THE PANAMANIAC WITH A GREAT SLIDE TACKLE. CAN ANYONE STOP HIM?
Fifty-Third: Corner for Seattle. Peralta deals with it and immediately puts it out for another corner. Second corner is also immediately put out for another corner. Third corner is kept in somehow. Seattle maintain control and Alonso shoots but right at Osvaldo Sanchez.
Fifty-Fourth: GOAL GOMEZ! He hits it off the volley on the rebound from Quintero's excellent effort that was saved nicely by Marcus. Gomez shushes the crowd and I celebrate wildly in my living room. This goal is an ode to great ball striking technique. I LOVE YOU HERCULES <3 <3 <3.
Fifty-Seventh: Yedlin falls down, ref declines to call a foul. Seattle announcers and the former bartender of that terrible FSC talk show about soccer (who somehow is now a color man) say how a free kick should be given. LIES I TELL YOU.
Fifty-Eighth: Martinez shoots wide. He had Yedlin wide open on the flank but decided to take a poor shot instead.
Fifty-Ninth: HIS NAME IS DARWIN, DARWIN QUINTERO. He bursts through the middle and chips a shot just wide of goal. He did this basically all by himself surrounded by 3 Seattle defenders. Holy fuck this guy has been great tonight.
Sixtieth: Quintero-time. He shoots again but this time right at Marcus. Before this minute is out Quintero gets the ball again an this time chips a pass towards Peralta who gets his foot on the ball and puts his chip attempt over the bar. Santos boys are feeling it right now.
Sixty-Second: Referee tells the arthritic bones of Shalrie Joseph to take it easy. Just offer him a cup of tea instead. Will do the job better.
Sixty-Third: Corner, Peralta heads it out for another corner. Next corner is headed away by a different defender somehow not conceding another corner.
Sixty-Fifth: Sammy Ochoa on a breakaway down the right side. He gets into the box and rips his shot way wide of goal. Really should have put it on frame there. You can here the crowd groan. THIS WAS NOT GOOD (or hilarious depending on your outlook).
Sixty-Ninth: Ol Arthritis bones shoots from distance and puts it high and wide.
Seventy-First: Quintero breaks down the field fines Peralta on a through ball. Marcus makes a big save and eventually a rather lame foul is called on Peralta for jumping into the much larger Marcus.
Seventy-Second: Rose on for Joseph and Rosales on for Evans.
I was giving the referee, Rodriguez, some shit earlier but so far this has been well called.
Seventy-Eighth: Zakuani on for Caskey
Eighty-First minute: Yedlin fights through and wins a ball away from Peralta that could have resulted in a chance. Good work from him. He has had a solid game so far.
Last twenty minutes or so the game has really slowed down. Santos taking their foot off the gas a bit and focusing more on the defensive side.
Eighty-Third: THE PANAMANIAC STRIKES AGAIN! He missed his first chance at the ball to give the illusion that he is human. He then easily recovered, put the ball out of bounds, stuck his tongue out and smiled as his defensive partners. EPIC SWAG.
Eighty-Fifth: ANOTHER FUCKING CORNER FOR SEATTLE. Will this be headed out for another corner. NO!. Almost though. Well guess what the Panamaniac puts it out for another corner after the ball bounced around a bit in the offensive third.
Eighty-Sixth: Another corner dealt with by the Santos defense. Afte the initial danger was cleared a weak cross came into Scott who headed it with not much pace right at Sanchez. That was corner number 11. None of them have been particularly effective.
Eighty-Seventh: Quintero appears to have pulled up lame. Fuck. He sits down on the ground holding his groin and needing a sub. FUCK YOU SEATTLE. Don't boo the guy who was the best player on the field after he clearly has a muscle strain. You all suck.
Eighty-Eight: Quintero subbed off for Cardenas. Great game by Darwin.
Ninetieth: PANAMANIAC owns Rosales and easily clears the ball away. Yedlin thought he was going to get the ball but NO BALL FOR YOU MOHAWK BOY.
Ninety-First: Santos trying to kill this off but doing a poor job of it. Too many cheap give aways.
Ninety-Third: Peralta working HARD defensively, stealing the ball away deep in the defensive end. That is a Mexican National team striker getting shit done defensively.
Ninety-Fourth: Traore with a hilariously bad pass to no one. Final Whistle!
The better team one. Seattle lucky to get out of this losing by only 1 goal. Second leg should be fun but I expect Santos to carry the day.
Be back tomorrow night with LA vs Monterrey! See you then.